Tuesday, 26 December 2017

“Wait, Let me check if we have Americano”-Disinterested Waitress


The Boston Butt    1/5


Address: 1st floor Rampart Row 30 K Dubash Marg Opp. Max Mueller Bhavan, Near Rhythm House and Jehangir Art Gallery, Kalaghoda, Fort, Maharashtra 400023

Specialty:  Smokery, Charcuterie, Bar and Cafe
Type of Restaurant: All day bar and restaurant
The details above are from the restaurant/their website and are subject to change at their discretion
Price Range: 3000/- for two Exclusive of Drinks and applicable taxes and charges. They levy a 10% service charge
They call themselves Indias first Smokery. What it really is is a mockery of a smoke house. The Boston Butt is the American name for a cut of pork that comes from the upper part of the shoulder and is usually used for pulled pork. With a name like that, we can only  assume the meat would be fabulous. This experience is like that of a blockbuster Bollywood film with a top of the line cast that goes on to bomb at the box office. Our first look at the menu told us we’d have to return to do justice to the vast variety. By the end of the meal, it was clear we’d return for one reason only, to get our money back.
Ambience
With the exposed pipes and leather upholstery, they are clearly trying to re-create  the vibe of a pre-Prohibition era restaurant in the US. Also creeping in there is the hint of the New Orleans French Quarter. The restaurant is spread over 2 floors, the upper one has a better feel and yes, the bar.
Life’s Good, but its not perfect
They make us think of teenagers on their first trip to Amsterdam. They’ve tried to smoke everything. Sadly there is an inconsistence in cooking and more often than not, you feel the only smoke, is in the pipes overhead.
Starters. from the “raw bar”
To start we ordered what they call the house-cured cold-smoked sushi grade blue thread fin Indian Salmon, cream cheese, shallot oil and mini bagel. Quite a mouthful, right? And a mouthful that we couldn’t swallow. To make it simpler for everyone, they should re-name the dish “Salt”, because, quite frankly, that’s all we could taste. Once we got over the pale grey slices of fish (with the skin on) that looked like it was undergoing a second rigor mortis and developed the courage to pop it in our mouths, we instantly wish we hadn’t. The salinity had our blood pressure surging. Needless to say, we had it sent away.

Good Old Smokies:. We ordered the smoked barbeque
platter with pulled smoked pork, the st. Louis style smoked peppery rib, smoked buffalo brisket, and the bourbon & smoked chilli smoked chicken. The pork had clearly been pulled a while ago and forgotten about. It was dry and had lost all of the succulence you would associate with pulled pork. The brisket was rather odd, fatty in parts, dry in others. The rib was ok. There could have been more of it. The chicken was overcooked, slightly redeemed by the hot sauce it came with. The platter is not even slightly worth the price.
Mains or Full plates : We were recommended the seafood gumbo. We expected a medley of seafood; all we got were some very overcooked morsels of fish and prawn. Gumbo is one of dishes that helped make the Creole-Cajun cuisine of Louisiana so famous. This dish inspires competitions and festivals. Gumbo is usually identified by its dark roux, cooked until it is a color "a few shades from burning". The one we got was more like a tomato sauce, devoid of flavour. This was served with butter parsley rice. We have to take their word of it. We couldn’t taste the butter. Having eaten and made a few in our time, this was grossly disappointing.


Dessert: We were informed that dessert would take 20-25 minutes. By now, we had no inclination to spend any more time.
Drinks: The menu looked interesting, save for the Curry scented bitch, which seemed more like a racial slur, than a cocktail. All we had the patience for was an Americano, which took 20 minutes to arrive. And when it did, tasted like the slurry that Starbucks discards after making their coffees.
Service wise, they are couldn’t care less and spent long periods of time lost in conversation amongst them selves. There were long spells wherein there was no staff at all.   
Insider tips You are best off on your own. If you are in the area and have nothing else to do and loads of time to kill, drop in and order a coffee. They’ll take 10 minutes to confirm they even have it. 
Value for money Our wallet refuses to accompany us , in the event we return
What to wear Anything with large pockets, to stash away something to nibble on while you wait for your food.


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